


Mom's Shadow

by QueenGravity



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Bonding, Family Issues, Friendship, Gen, Mementos (Persona 5), Past Abuse, Post-The Summer Palace, ryuji just loves his mom okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-10 03:31:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12290289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenGravity/pseuds/QueenGravity
Summary: Ryuji's mom, Michiko, has fallen into a depression. Only way he knows how to help is with the metaverse. But he is too ashamed to ask his friends for help.





	1. How to help

Ryuji was lying on his bed, holding his phone before him. 

 

¨Michiko Sakamoto.¨

 

No flash from the app. No heartbeat of distortion. No Palace. He sighed and dropped the phone on his stomach. He felt awful that he was disappointed. 

 

Futaba’s castle had been a pain in the ass. She wanted help but anxiety made her cognition more dangerous than the previous ones. It worked out in the end. Futaba, an awesome master hacker, joined the Phantom Thieves and the group was more famous than ever. More importantly, it gave Ryuji a weird sense of hope. If someone was wrought with anxiety and depression, you could “easily” save them, if they had a palace.

 

Ryuji looked at the clock. It was almost time for work. He changed from his school uniform into something “casually formal”. It was a wrinkled white shirt, which had some minor stains on it, and jeans with holes. He ran his hand through his hair as if it would help. Gathering his stuff, he was on his way. Passing the kitchen, he saw his mom making fried rice. She looked like she had lost even more weight.

 

“I'm going to work,” said Ryuji.

 

“Oh,” his mom turned around. “You have a shift today, huh.”

 

There were bags under her eyes.

 

“I guess I'll have to eat alone.” She said and feigned a smile. “Would be wonderful if you could invite me sometime to the diner.”

 

“Y-yeah.” Ryuji’s heart was a stone. “It's just that it'd be embarrassing, y’know?”

 

She chuckled.

 

“Of course. I’m an embarrassing mom.” She turned to the frying pan.

 

Ryuji half-assed a laugh.

 

“See you later.”

 

“Be safe, Ryu-kun.”

 

Ryuji hated to admit it, but it was refreshing to get out of the apartment. He loved her with all his heart and more but it hurt to watch her smile. That was a recent development. What made everything spiral down was when she got fired. The company had to cut funds and therefore let go of employers. She had gotten a new job but, as usual, she blamed herself for getting fired. She had even apologised to her boss.   
  
Ryuji stared the nav app. She could have a shadow in mementos. He didn’t have the courage to check. His mom’s passive aggressive nature was hard enough to deal with in the real world. Confronting her shadow would be the easiest way to ¨fix¨ her but the emotional toll that would be; it scared Ryuji to death.

 

Arriving at Shinjuku, Ryuji ran to the bar. He was in no mood for predators. He opened the door and the scent of alcohol took over. It was a disgusting smell but it had come to be associated with peace.

 

“Ryu-chan,” Lala-chan smiled. “Always so diligent.”

 

“Of course!”

 

The whole place had initially been terrifying. However, Lala-chan’s protection and kindness (and payment) made Ryuji feel welcome. He put on an apron and got to work. It was a good shift. Ryuji only gave the wrong order once and Lala-chan only told him to lower his voice once. He managed to keep his attention to a rambling, drunk man and shut down Ohya when she demanded more drinks. After getting his pay and a pat on his head from Lala-chan, he sprinted to the last train of the night. 

 

At home, everything was spotless. There was no dust, no blankets out of place, not a single unclean plate. The windows were crystal clear and some furniture had been rearranged. Even Ryuji’s usually chaotic room was tidy. He peeked into his mother's room and saw her collapsed on the bed. She was sleeping in her normal clothes and hadn’t even pulled the blanket over her. Ryuji checked the fridge and there was a container filled to the brim with fried rice. No amount less than when it had been in the pan earlier. Ryuji wanted to cry. He managed not to and dropped on his bed.

 

Ryuji’s body had a feeling it was about time to wake up. Twisting and turning around, he opened his eyes. Per morning routine he checked his phone.

 

11:04.

 

¨SHIT.¨

 

He leapt out of bed and quickly dressed himself. Ignoring breakfast, he sprinted to the train station. A dull ache took his right leg and he was forced to slow down. As he sat down on the train, the pain grew. He grimaced. The moment of sitting still brought the exhaustion back. He slumped in his seat. He didn’t need stress. It wasn’t like anything would change. He already had his labels. He walked the rest of the way.

 

Ryuji stood outside the classroom until he was called in by the teacher. No one batted an eye and the teacher gave a meagre scolding. No one wanted to waste time on him. He was forced to study during lunch. He sneaked his phone out of his pocket.

 

Ryuji: Hey, can someone bring me food to my classroom? Have to study.

 

Ann: Ugh. It’s your fault for being late.

 

Makoto: Were you up playing games?

 

Ryuji: FOR YOUR INFORMATION I WAS WORKING!!

 

Akira: I’ll come with food.

 

Ryoji: Thx. I’ll pay you back.

 

Makoto: Oh right! How’s that going? Is it fun?

 

Ryuji: It is. Gtg. Don’t wanna get caught.

 

Akira: Be there in a minute.

 

When Akira arrived, he sat down by Ryuji. He had bought a sandwich from the cafeteria.

 

¨Thank you,¨ Ryuji cheered and took a big bite. Akira wiped away the crumbs that landed on the textbook.

 

¨Want help with studying,¨ said Akira.

 

¨Nah, man,¨ said Ryuji with his mouth full.

 

He swallowed and got a big grin.

 

¨Y’know, I might become a bartender!¨

 

¨Really,¨ Akira smiled.

 

¨Mhm.¨ Ryuji continued to eat.

 

¨I’ll become the mysterious regular and all I have to do is wink and you’ll pull a bunch of favours for me.¨

 

¨Right! I’ll blackmail that shady business man that comes often because I know he’s cheating on his wife. He’ll be forced to give you info about the bank you’ll rob.¨

 

¨Yeah!¨

 

The two continued to fantasise about Ryuji the bartender and Akira the gentleman-thief-disguised-as-an-alcoholic. When school was over, all the anxiety of messing up was gone. He stopped by the gym for his usual work-out. Back home Ryuji sorted his money and took a long bath. While soaking, his mother came home.

 

¨Ryu-kun,¨ she called out.

 

¨In the bath, mom,¨ he answered.

 

¨Can you come out quick? I want to talk.¨

 

A stone dropped in Ryuji’s stomach. It sounded serious. He dipped his head under the water and escaped reality for a second. He got up and braced himself. His mom was in the kitchen heating up the fried rice. She turned around when she heard him. She wore that pathetic, sad face she had too often. Ryuji tightened his lips.

 

¨The school called,¨ she said.

 

Ryuji wanted to drop unconscious.

 

¨You shouldn’t work if it keeps you from studies,¨ she said.

 

¨This was an one time thing,¨ said Ryuji. ¨It won’t happen again.¨

 

¨Please don’t give up on your studies. If I could I would help you.¨

 

¨It’s okay. I’m not-¨

 

¨Yes, you are! Your grades are awful!¨

 

A punch in the gut would be sweeter than those words.

 

¨You have to have good grades so you can get a good job-¨

 

¨You know it’s over for me.¨ Ryuji focused on keeping his voice down. ¨Ever since that incident-¨

 

¨I know.¨ She broke into tears. ¨And if only I had been a better wife and mother then that wouldn’t had happened. But can you at least try?¨

 

Ryuji forced down the scream in his throat. He ran to his room and grabbed a box. Back in the kitchen, he opened it. All his earnings from one month of work was in it.

 

¨I am trying! All of this is for us- for you,¨ Ryuji exclaimed.

 

His mom cried even harder.

 

¨I am so sorry,¨ she sobbed and hugged Ryuji tightly, ¨This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. You should be with your friends.¨

 

Ryuji hugged her back as tightly as he could. As if he could squeeze the negativity from her.

 

¨It’s his fault,¨ he said. ¨You know that.¨

 

His mom only continued to cry. Every snivel made him more tired. The wet shoulder was heavy to bear. He was powerless against her tears. It was awkward holding her, listening to her sobbing for minute after minute, without doing anything. At one point it felt like they were gonna be stuck like that. Finally her shaking shoulders calmed down and her crying faded. She broke the hug and rubbed her eyes.

 

¨I’m so sorry,¨ she said, ashamed.

 

¨Hey, no big deal,¨ said Ryuji with a forced smile. ¨Let’s eat.¨

 

She nodded and gave a faint smile. Fixing the table and food, they sat across from each other. A cold heavy silence hung over them. Ryuji chewed slowly, thinking of something to say. His mom barely touched the food. 

 

¨How are your friends,¨ she asked. ¨What were their names again? Akira, Ann, ehh…¨

 

¨Yusuke and Makoto.¨ The weight in the atmosphere lightened.

 

¨What lovely names,¨ she smiled, genuinely.¨ I’d love to meet them some day.¨

 

¨Yeah…¨ Ryuji couldn’t help but to be hesitant. ¨I actually made a new friend.¨

 

¨Oh! Already?¨ She was excited.

 

¨Her name is Futaba. She’s a computer genius.¨

 

¨How exciting! Does she go to Shujin as well?¨

 

¨No. She’s Akira’s neighbour.¨

 

¨What charisma you have, Ryu-kun.¨ She was beaming with pride.

 

Ryuji laughed at the absurd claim but let her believe it. He continued to talk about his friends. His mom was happy to listen. The mood had become warm. However, Ryuji was disturbed by her sudden shift in mood. The previous conversation loomed in the back of his mind. He was reminded of the one who had messed everything up. He had gotten a new idea.

 

Back in his bed with his phone before him, he tapped on the nav.

 

¨Yoichiro Sakamoto.¨

 

No hit.

 

He went to the mementos submenu.

 

¨Yoichiro Sakamoto.¨

 

The app dinged and confirmed that his old man’s shadow was in mementos. Ryuji stared at the app, overwhelmed by his new thought. Was it genuine? The people who got their treasure stolen, were they their real selves afterwards or were they brainwashed? Ryuji had never even come close to thinking about that before. It wouldn’t even had mattered. With the previous targets, what mattered was bringing them to justice and helping those in need. Would changing Yoichiro’s heart really help his mom? What good would it do to have him come back and confess his sins? It would be more of a bother and emotional distress than anything. What about Futaba? Was she brainwashed or was she back to her old self before her mother’s death? That was a possibility. Although, did Kamoshida, Madarame and Kaneshiro have previous good selves? Did his old man have one? But what a disgusting thing. It didn’t matter if it was genuine or not. He didn’t want to make his old man a better person. He didn’t deserve that. Ryuji didn’t want to see his face, hear his name or even know about him in the first place.

 

Ryuji got an headache. He threw his phone to the side in a fit of anger. There was no easy way out. There was only a faster and a slower (and uncertain) way. He grabbed his phone again

 

¨Michiko Sakamoto.¨

 

Confirmed. Ryuji felt sick. Seeing a loved one in a twisted state was a nightmare.

 

But it would be worth it, Ryuji chanted in his head. The next step would be to find out how genuine a change of heart was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried a bit when writing this. 
> 
> Btw Akira helped Ryuji to get a job at the Crossroads bar.


	2. Who's fault is it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for mementos

Ryuji and his friends were eating lunch in the school courtyard. They were talking about miscellaneous things. It was usually a warming mood but at the moment Ryuji was quiet and bouncing his leg.

 

¨Ehh, Ryuji,¨ said Ann.

 

¨Mm?¨

 

¨Are you okay? And can you quit bouncing.¨

 

¨Oh. Yeah, yeah, I’m ok,¨ he said and stopped bouncing.

 

¨Ryuji, what is it?¨ Makoto asked.

 

¨What do you mean?¨

 

¨You can talk to us.¨ Akira’s matter-of-fact tone did help.

 

However, Ryuji glanced to the others and felt his tongue binding itself.

 

¨What trouble have you gotten into now,¨ Morgana sighed.

 

¨Nothing,¨ he said louder than intended.

 

They all looked worried. Ryuji couldn’t hide his distress, but he’d be damned if he dragged them into his own troubles.

 

¨Hey, we want to help,¨ Ann said meekly.

 

¨I told you it’s nothing,¨ said Ryuji.

 

Akira eyed him.

 

¨Well, then it’s nothing,¨ said Akira, clearly not buying it.

 

¨Yeah, I guess,¨ said Ann. ¨But if it was something, we’d help you.¨

 

¨And you’re more capable than you look,¨ said Makoto. 

 

¨Heh, thanks- HEY,¨ said Ryuji. ¨I look cool, alright!¨

 

¨Sure you do,¨ Ann laughed and poked his cheek.

 

¨Hey, there’s a movie I thought we could see together.¨ Akira changed the subject. Ryuji thanked him in his mind.

 

¨Which one,¨ Makoto asked.

 

¨Deserts 11.¨

 

The title created a spiral into the topic of heist movies and how motivating they were. Ryuji barely took part of the conversation. He needed to ask Akira something but he didn’t want him or the others to suspect anything. Not that he had a chance of hiding anything now. When lunch ended and they were going their own ways, Ryuji gathered courage. It was a shot in the dark.

 

¨Akira, are you seeing Iwai after school,¨ Ryuji asked, trying to sound casual.

 

¨Yeah,¨ said Akira. ¨Wanna come with?¨

 

The shot had hit beautifully and Ryuji felt a wave of relief.

 

¨Nah, just wanna remind you that my trigger’s jammed.¨

 

¨I’ll make sure he fixes it.¨

 

¨Thanks.¨

 

Finally his plan could start.

 

—

 

Ryuji was tense the whole way to Yongen-jaya. He had to drag his own body to the cafe. It was weird to open the door and not have the intention to see Akira. The bitter scent of coffee hit him. The usually cozy mood had turned awkward. There was an old couple drinking coffee together and the TV was showing some game show.

 

¨Ryuji was it,¨ Sojiro said behind the counter.

 

¨Y-yeah.¨ Truthfully, Sojiro intimidated him.

 

¨Sorry but Akira isn’t home.¨

 

¨I know.¨ Ryuji sat down by the counter. ¨I-I just wanted a cup of coffee.¨

 

Sojiro raised a skeptical brow.

 

¨What blend,¨ he said and decided to play along.

 

¨Eh, the house blend.¨ Ryuji had practiced this conversation in his head but it was not showing.

 

¨Coming right up,¨ Sojiro said with some hesitance.

 

Ryuji used all of his self-control to not bounce his leg.

 

¨How’s school,¨ asked Sojiro.

 

¨Good.¨ Ryuji could do without the small talk.

 

¨Akira’s behaving?¨

 

¨Yeah, he’s awesome.¨

 

Sojiro cracked a smile. He placed a cup of coffee in front of Ryuji. He remembered his training at home and grabbed the cup. He took a sip. It tasted like extravagant dirt as expected. The training payed off and he didn’t show his distaste. He put the cup down and stared at the coffee swirling around. 

 

¨So, ehm,¨ he said. ¨I’ve got a question if that’s ok?¨

 

¨Sure.¨

 

¨Is Futaba the same as she was before,¨ Ryuji said quickly.

 

He braced himself. Sojiro looked confused.

 

¨What do you mean?¨

 

¨I mean, is she the same as she was before she became a shut-in?¨

 

¨What’s it to you?¨ Sojiro’s tone was harsh.

 

Ryuji’s heart skipped a beat.

 

¨I just want to make sure she’s fine,¨ he managed to say.

 

Sojiro studied Ryuji for a second.

 

¨She’s always been socially awkward,¨ Sojiro said carefully. ¨You could say she’s back to normal with her bubbly personality and all but I’d say she’s matured too.¨

 

¨Right, right,¨ Ryuji mumbled, considering the information.

 

¨You close to her?¨

 

Ryuji looked up and saw Sojiro’s stern eyes.

 

¨She’s an awesome friend, like she’s one of the coolest people I know but I-I promise you there’s nothing more to it,¨ Ryuji babbled desperately.

 

¨Hmph.¨ The corners of Sojiro’s lips twitched upwards.

 

¨Eh, well,¨ Ryuji stammered, ¨see you later.¨

 

He downed the coffee and forced himself to not gag. He stood up and bowed deeply.

 

¨I ask of you, please, don’t tell anyone that I was here.¨

 

¨Yeah, yeah,¨ Sojiro chuckled. ¨Sheesh, you don’t have to be so formal. Now get out of here, you awkward monkey.¨

 

¨Yessir!¨

 

Ryuji grabbed his bag, bowed his head to Sojiro and to the elder couple who had observed the conversation with amusement. After that Ryuji sprinted to the station while his face burned. On the train his phone dinged. 

 

Akira: Wanna talk?

 

Ryuji: Not rn. Soon tho. I’ll let you know

 

Akira: Good

 

That night at the Crossroads bar, Ryuji was deep in thought. It felt like he was juggling inside his head.

 

Back home there was no food ready. His mom had once again fallen asleep in her work clothes. Ryuji scratched his head. He comforted himself with his almost complete plan. He went to bed determined.

 

Ryuji’s alarm was not what woke him up. He heard rambling coupled with sobbing. He leapt out of bed and went to his mom’s room. He found her changing clothes with tears streaming down her face.

 

¨I’m gonna be late. What am I going to say to Hino-san? He’ll fire me. I’ll get fired for sure-¨ 

 

She noticed Ryuji.

 

¨Mom, it’s okay.¨ Ryuji moved closer.

 

¨Get out,¨ she cried.

 

Ryuji’s heart skipped a beat. 

 

¨Just get out!¨

 

Ryuji forced himself back to his room. He slammed the door behind him and covered his face. He felt the tears building up but he refused to let them fall. His breath was heavy.

 

¨Shit. Shit, shit, shit!¨

 

He hated himself. He wanted to scream at his mom to get it together. To stop being such a wreck. How could he feel that way? She was the one hurting the most. He listened as she stumbled around while crying. When she finally headed out, Ryuji got the energy to get to school. All his hesitation, all his plans of doing things smooth and quietly were thrown out the window. On his way to school he made a group chat with Futaba and Akira.

 

Ryuji: Can we meet today after school?

 

Akira: Only the three of us?

 

Ryuji: Yes

 

Futaba: Is it gonna be fun?

 

Ryuji: Yeah, I’ll treat you to ramen

 

Futaba: I’m game

 

Ryuji: AND NO MORGANA

 

MORGANA I STG IF YOU TRY TO FOLLOW AKIRA I WILL CASTRATE YOU

 

Futaba: Whoa, that’s a bit too far

  
What’s your damage?

 

Ryuji: Just make sure he doesn’t eavesdrop!

 

Akira: Ok

 

I guess the others are going to be kept in the dark?

 

Ryuji: Yes

 

Futaba: I expect excitement 

 

Ryuji: Yeah, yeah

 

—

 

They met at the usual ramen shop. They were sitting in a corner. Futaba was happily slurping away at her noodles while Akira kept his eyes on Ryuji.

 

¨So what is it,¨ Futaba asked with her mouth full. ¨Why so secretive? I mean, I’m honoured but this is really weird.¨

 

¨I…¨ Ryuji had trouble getting his plan out.

 

¨Just calm down,¨ said Akira. ¨We want to help you.¨

 

¨Yeah,¨ said Futaba. ¨I still gotta repay my favour to you after all!¨

 

Ryuji took a deep breath.

 

¨My mom’s shadow is in mementos.¨

 

One could hear a feather drop with the silence that ensued.

 

¨Oh.¨ Futaba put down her bowl.

 

Akira leaned back and twisted a lock of hair around his finger. He was thinking.

 

¨I’ve already got a plan,¨ said Ryuji.

 

¨You do?¨ Akira’s looked up surprised.

 

¨Yeah, but are you guys gonna help me or not?¨

 

¨Yes.¨ Futaba’s answer was firm.

 

¨Always,¨ said Akira.

 

Relief washed over Ryuji.

 

¨You wanna go now,¨ asked Futaba.

 

¨If it’s okay with you,¨ said Ryuji.

 

¨Of course,¨ said Akira.

 

They ate their ramen and headed for the station. They didn’t talk much. There was a silent understanding; no unnecessary questions, no telling the others and no judging. Ryuji explained his plan. Futaba teased that she was surprised by his sudden new intellect. The air was thick with excitement when they reached central station. They stood in a remote corner with their phones out. Unease fell over them.

 

¨Ryuji,¨ Futaba said softly. ¨It’s gonna hurt to see her like that.¨

 

¨I know.¨

 

¨Just wanna make sure you’re prepared.¨

 

¨Thanks.¨

 

¨This is gonna be fine,¨ said Akira with a smile. ¨We’ve managed tons of shadows, even Futaba’s cognition. And we know that it works.¨

 

The last sentence comforted Ryuji.

 

¨Thanks… for like…¨ The words didn’t come out like they should’ve. Ryuji sighed. ¨It’s not that I don’t like the others. It’s just…¨

 

¨No, I understand,¨ said Akira.

 

¨Me too. It’s so embarrassing it hurts,¨ said Futaba.

 

¨Mhm.¨ Ryuji gave a lop-sided smile. ¨Let’s do this.¨

 

They activated the app. The scenery around them started to blur and shift. In wavy motions the geography gradually changed. With blue flames running up their bodies, their thief outfits appeared. The elusive imagery solidified into a ticket station. The walls were red and cracked, with tendrils running in, out and around them. The air was still and cold. They heard the low rumbling from the depths. Oracle held a hand to her googles.

 

¨Michiko Sakamoto.¨

 

Skull and Joker waited for the analysis to finish.

 

¨Let’s see…¨ said Oracle. ¨She’s on the 33rd floor. There’s a rest area just above it.¨

 

¨Oracle,¨ said Skull, ¨Please check for Yoichiro Sakamoto.¨

 

She nodded and checked without any questions.

 

¨He’s on 46th floor.¨

 

Skull considered the matter. Then he mentally slapped himself for wasting time.

 

¨Sorry, let’s go to mom.¨

 

At the ticket gate, Oracle fiddled with the cognition. A faint space opened up in front of them. The image in it changed from one resting area to the next until they got to the right one. They quickly jumped in before it closed. They didn’t waste time, and hurried down the escalator. It was a different feeling to be on the tracks opposed to sitting in the van. Subconsciously they felt something creep up on them.

 

¨I got the lay out,¨ said Oracle. ¨She’s furthest in. I’ll guide you.¨ 

 

Oracle snapped her fingers.

 

¨Necronomicon.¨

 

Her mask disappeared in a blue flame. From the flames grew the UFO. It covered the trio in its shadow as it floated. It opened its door and pulled Oracle smoothly in with its tentacles. Ryuji always appreciated getting to see that.

 

¨Let’s go!¨ They heard her from within.

 

She flew in front of Joker and Skull and they ran after her. They rounded a corner and stopped. There was a shadow.

 

¨It’s weak,¨ said Oracle.

 

¨Let’s wait for it to go away,¨ said Joker.

 

Skull grimaced in impatience as it walked slowly away from them. He huffed when the shadow stopped for a second.

 

¨Why do they have to be so damn slow,¨ he muttered.

 

¨Take it easy,¨ said Joker.

 

Skull forced himself to calm down. The shadow finally walked in to a dead end and the team could sneak by. It was a painstakingly slow process to stealth around the shadows. Skull felt like he was going to explode. Fortunately, the occasional touch on the shoulder from Joker kept him at bay. When they finally reached the great red portal, Skull felt his stomach disappear. It loomed over them.

 

¨Ready,¨ Joker asked.

 

¨Y-yes,¨ said Skull.

 

¨We can take a minute,¨ said Oracle.

 

Skull shook his head. Throwing away his thoughts, he took a running start and leapt into the portal. Joker and Oracle hurried after him.

 

It was a big circular room. It was black with glowing red splashed randomly. The ground vibrated faintly. One moment everything was clear, the next moment things blurred to an degree. So the view shift.

 

She was standing in there middle, holding her hand against her head as if she had a headache. Skull carefully walked over to her, heart pounding. She lifted her head and her eyes widened. Skull’s body went cold and he stopped. She looked normal, which made the black swirls emitting from her even more disturbing.

 

¨Wh-who are you?¨ She was scared. ¨Ryu-kun? Is that you?¨

 

¨Yeah.¨ It took everything Skull had to say that.

 

Oracle and Joker stood on each of his sides.

 

¨Are those your friends,¨ she asked. ¨Why are you dressed like that?¨ The flames flared.

 

¨Yes and well-¨

 

¨Are you out causing trouble again,¨ she exclaimed, the flames growing more intense. ¨Why are you always doing this? Why are you always making things so difficult?¨

 

The words pierced him. Was everything his fault? Would his mom not be here if it weren’t for him? He took a step back but his shoulder met Joker’s hand.

 

¨This is like how I was,¨ said Oracle. ¨Anxiety and depression has twisted her.¨

 

¨R-right.¨ Skull doubted her.

 

¨I’m sorry, Ryu-kun,¨ his mom’s voice cracked. Now the flames flickered. ¨This is my fault. I’m not a good mother. I’m not what you deserve.¨ She started crying.

 

¨No, mom, I’ll help you-¨

 

¨No,¨ she shouted, the flames lashed out. ¨A child shouldn’t need to help their parent!¨

 

¨It’s okay, mom.¨ Skull walked forward, reaching his hand out to her.

 

¨Stop!¨ She backed away.

 

The flames enveloped her and red streams erupted. She was engulfed. The black and red mixed and grew. Slowly it formed a body. A woman, curled up and floating. Her hands covered her eyes and red tears fell through her fingers. Her hair was pitch black, long and flowing around her. The skin was grey and cracked, black veins coursing through it.A tattered dress was all that clothed her.

 

¨I won’t let you waste time on me!¨ The shriek sent shocks through the thieves’ bodies.

 

The shadow’s hair wrapped itself around her until one couldn’t see her body anymore. Skull watched as his gut wrenched.

 

¨Arsene,¨ Joker yelled. ¨Bufula!¨

 

Arsene appeared with a blue flash and flapped his wings. From them a hail of ice shot at the shadow. The ice shattered upon impact, doing no damage. Skull got a hold of himself. Seeing only a ball of hair made things easier.

 

¨Captain Kidd!¨ Skull raised a fist. ¨Zionga!¨ He pointed at the shadow.

 

Lightning shot out from the Captain Kidd’s hand canon and hit the shadow. She was tossed back but seemed otherwise untouched.

 

¨Her hair is like a shield,¨ said Oracle, collecting data. ¨Honestly I don’t think you can do any damage while she has it up. Try to physically break through it.¨

 

Joker brandished his dagger.

 

¨Skull, distract her,¨ he said.

 

¨Roger!¨

 

Skull ran towards the shadow with his war hammer. Thick strands of hair flew at him. He brought up his hammer at the last second, making the hair grab it instead of him. With them locked in a tug of war, Joker snuck up behind her. The shadow noticed and hair shot out at him. Skull gathered his strength and pulled. The shadow was yanked to the side. Joker jumped and grabbed it. He stabbed his dagger deep into the ball of hair. Prying it open, Joker finally got a view of the body.

 

¨Skull! Hit it with lightning!¨

 

¨Hear that, Captain!¨ Skull let go of his hammer and motioned towards the shadow. Captain Kidd appeared and sent an onslaught of lightning. Joker jumped back when the electricity reached. The shadow let out a deafening screech and the hair let go of its body. As the lightning faded, she fell to the ground. She was breathing heavily. Joker and Skull surrounded it. Joker aimed at her with his gun. Anxiety had grabbed Skull’s heart once again.

 

¨Mom, please give up.¨ In order to end this he needed to talk. It didn’t matter how difficult it was.

 

¨And what?¨ Its voice was raspy and sharp. ¨Let a failure like you fix things? It’s my fault for raising you this way. In a way so you’ll never accomplish anything.¨ Skull could pass out.

 

¨Skull, ignore her.¨ Joker had noticed Skull’s pain and had put a hand on his shoulder.

 

¨Why would you,¨ said the shadow. ¨I am her real self after all.¨

 

Skull couldn’t breathe. The world was crashing down, and it was because of his failures.

 

¨Shut up!¨

 

The shadow screamed as its back was hit with the edge of Oracle’s UFO. As Necronomicon hit the ground it dissolved into blue flames. Oracle stumbled out. The shadow had a giant gash in its back. Black streams flowed out of it. Its hair fell off as it wailed.

 

¨It hurts! It hurts!¨

 

¨I don’t care! You’re not Ryuji’s real mom,¨ Oracle shouted.

 

Joker held Skull’s hand and pulled Skull close to him. It prevented Skull from crying. The shadow exploded into black and red fire. As the flames parted, his mom stood before them. For a moment her expression was blank. It did nothing good for Skull. For those few seconds he believed that he had killed her. Like a light turning on, she blinked a number of times and looked around. Seeing Skull made her remember. She gasped and put up her hands in front of her mouth.

 

¨Oh…,¨ she said. ¨Oh no, what have I said.¨ Her eyes glistened.

 

The knot in Skull’s chest released, but he couldn’t find any words to say.

 

¨Don’t worry, you’re back now,¨ said Joker and squeezed Skull’s hand.

 

She didn’t look like she understood.

 

¨Ryu-kun.¨ Her voice was soft. ¨I’m sorry for saying those things. They weren’t true.¨

 

¨Mhm,¨ Skull mumbled. ¨Just, go back, will ya.¨ He couldn’t look at her. The relief that she was fine was quickly replaced with something else.

 

¨Ok,¨ she said, hesitantly. ¨See you home.¨

 

It was all so anti-climactic. But what was Skull supposed to say? He couldn’t stop thinking of what the shadow had said.

 

Her body faded away. A white shine dropped on the floor. Skull mustered his courage and grabbed it. Seeing that it was a wedding ring, he felt white-hot anger. Joker took it from him quickly and put it in his pocket. Skull glared at him.

 

¨Let’s go,¨ said Joker, he knew Skull too well.

 

¨No,¨ Skull said sharply. ¨I’m going after that bastard.¨

 

¨Calm down-¨

 

¨He almost destroyed her,¨ Skull screamed.

 

¨We can go after him, but not now.¨

 

¨Why waste time?!¨

 

¨If you fight like this you’ll do something reckless,¨ said Oracle.

 

Skull snapped out of it. As usual, his short-temper caused trouble for everyone. He put his head in his hand. Slow breaths, furrowed brow and tense shoulders. One more breath for keeping himself together.

 

¨I’m sorry.¨ Skull pinched his nose bridge. ¨Let’s go.¨ He shook his head and walked without looking at Joker and Oracle. None of them took offence. Joker grabbed Skull’s hand and Oracle hopped along by Skull’s side. Skull cried. He didn’t stop walking, but he snivelled with tears running down his cheeks. Joker and Oracle didn’t comment on it. They helped him hide and be quiet when shadows were near. Skull found it embarrassing but he was in no position to protest. There were so many emotions swirling around him. For a moment he managed to make gratitude be the strongest one.

 

Exhaustion took a hold of Ryuji and he doubted he’d make it home without collapsing. Back in reality the three slumped down on a bench. Anger still simmered in Ryuji. It must’ve showed for both Futaba and Akira leaned their heads on him.

 

¨H-hey!¨ He blushed. It was fine with physical affection in mementos, but now everyone could see.

 

¨I’m tired,¨ said Akira.

 

¨Mm,¨ Ryuji grumbled. He tolerated it if it was for Akira’s sake.

 

¨Bro, tell me something,¨ said Futaba.

 

¨Yeah,¨ Akira and Ryuji said in unison.

 

¨Wasn’t I such a badass?

 

Ryuji and Akira laughed.

 

¨You were so cool,¨ Ryuji exclaimed. ¨You gave me chills!¨

 

¨Can I ride on top of Necronomicon sometime,¨ said Akira, half-joking.

 

¨Yes! We should try that,¨ Futaba said enthusiastically.

 

As they chattered on, adding one silly idea after another, Ryuji felt his hatred crumble. The weight of their heads on his shoulders, their warmth, it felt amazing. However, in the end, he couldn’t help but to only think of his mom.

 

¨Guys, I wanna see my mom,¨ he said.

 

Akira lifted his head from him, nodded and smiled.

 

¨She’s going to be normal again, don’t worry,¨ said Futaba.

 

¨Yea.¨ Ryuji didn’t know if his smile was fake or not.

 

The trio said goodbye. Futaba and Akira took their train to Yongen-Jaya and Ryuji was left alone. Without their company, he quickly descended into worry. He’d seen this work multiple times but that didn’t stop him from feeling sick. Even if she was normal, that didn’t change the fact that he was a burden. His old man left ages ago. The real thorn in her side now was Ryuji himself. Exiting the train, Ryuji dragged his feet to his home. Several times he was sure he would throw up. It was unbearable when he finally stood in front of the door. Ryuji leaned his head against it and tried to calm his breathing.

 

¨It’ll be fine, it’ll be fine, it’ll be fine,¨ he mumbled to himself.

 

With a shaky hand he opened the door. He was met with the smell of hamburgers and heard sizzling from the kitchen.

 

¨Ryu-kun,¨ his mom called out in a sing-song voice.

 

Ryuji stopped in his track. That melody was nostalgic enough to make him cry. Fortunately he didn’t have any tears left. He slowly made his way to the kitchen. She had changed out of her work clothes. She had a wide smile when she saw him.

 

¨I’m so happy that you’re back,¨ she said.

 

¨Uh, yeah.¨ Talking was hard with a tense throat.

 

¨I’ve got a surprise for you. Go change out of your uniform.¨

 

¨Mhm.¨ He nodded. Carefully, he made his way to his room.

 

The hamburgers were already on the table when he got back.

 

¨I’m sorry, the surprise isn’t until after dinner,¨ she said.

 

¨No problem.¨

 

Sitting down gave his legs a much needed rest. He kept a constant eye on his mom. She sat down and they thanked for the food. Ryuji took a bite out of the hamburger.

 

¨So? Is it like you remember it,¨ she asked eagerly.

 

¨Yeah,¨ Ryuji smiled meekly.

 

¨That’s great!¨

 

They ate. She asked a few questions about school and his friends. He answered and felt his spirit lift little by little. When they were done, they helped each other to clean up. Ryuji was cautious. He felt that everything could go south at any moment. His mom motioned him to sit and went to the fridge. From it she pulled out two pieces of chocolate cake. Ryuji felt his heart jump of ¨hell yeah¨. She placed the cake on the table and kneeled down by Ryuji, looking into his eyes. This was it; everything was going to fall apart.

 

¨Ryu-kun,¨ she said softly with pained eyes. ¨I’m so sorry for the way I’ve been acting.¨ She held his hands. ¨I’ve caused you so much trouble. I feel horrible for putting you through that. You don’t have to forgive me, but I promise I will do my best to make it up to you.¨ Her eyes were tearing up.

 

Ryuji took a trembling breath. He turned away, rubbing his eyes.

 

¨Of cou-.¨ His voice cracked. ¨Of course I forgive you.¨ Tears started to spill over. Apparently there was more. He choked back his sobbing. ¨You’re fine now, right?¨ He hid his face. ¨So everything’s okay.¨ It hurt to talk.

 

His mom wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly. He felt her tears mix with his on his cheek. He hugged her back. He cried even more. He was hugging his real mom now. Their shoulders were shaking and their clothes were getting soaked. It was a safe and warm feeling, something Ryuji had forgotten. After a minute he pulled back and wiped his tears.

 

¨This is stupid,¨ he chuckled.

 

¨It really is,¨ his mom said with a laugh. ¨Let’s eat some cake.¨ She had a big smile accompanied with red eyes.

 

Ryuji had never had a more delicious cake. His mom joked about happenings at work. Ryuji managed to return to his loud self and laughed at her stories.

 

¨By the way,¨ said his mom. ¨Please use your earnings for yourself.¨

 

¨They’re for us,¨ Ryuji said sternly.

 

¨You don’t have to worry about that.¨

 

¨I’m not. Just let me help,¨ he said.

 

His mom sighed. She let him win that discussion for now.

 

¨Do you like work,¨ she asked.

 

¨Yes!¨

 

She smiled.

 

¨You’re so mature.¨ Of course she’d say that; she’s his mom. Despite that, Ryuji took the compliment to heart.

 

It was getting late. After she kissed Ryuji on the cheek, they went to their rooms. Ryuji didn’t get his clothes off before he collapsed on the bed. The fuzzy feelings faded away. Everything was fine for the time being. The only one who could mess it up was himself. Shadows aren’t fakes of real people. There were some truth to their words. Sleep was creeping up on Ryuji. Before it would take him he brought out his phone. There were messages.

 

Akira: Tell us how it works out

 

Futaba: Yea! Pls do!

 

Ryuji cracked a quick smile and typed a reply.

 

Ryuji: It went great 

All thanks to you guys

 

After that Ryuji went to the Mementos Sub-menu.

 

¨Ryuji Sakamoto.¨

 

No match. It gave mixed feelings. It was annoying that he couldn’t fix himself quickly. Then again, he didn’t deserve a quick fix. It was only right he had to work on this himself. He was just so terribly afraid he’d give his mom trouble again because of his selfishness. He fell asleep cursing himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend and I have started a let's play of Persona 5. We express much love for Ryuji. Please check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVYnjg_Ov5M&list=PLAfNaR-4M8LzccmpYq3vjr175xFPllCIs&index=1
> 
> I'm sorry that this ended with angst, but it made sense to me.

**Author's Note:**

> I cried a bit when writing this. 
> 
> Btw Akira helped Ryuji to get a job at the Crossroads bar.


End file.
